I slept a lot today. Trying to escape the light of day like some kind of Vampire tied to a chair on the beach while the sun comes up. I have also received a new shipment of Tropicana Orange Juice from Asda. It almost makes up for the lack of Internet, almost.
To fill today I have been playing on Serious Sam again, on the last level, The Grand Cathedral. I have got a lot worse on it since I last played it, and its like its much harder even on Normal. Before I could finish the game on SERIOUS difficulty without ever letting my health get below 50 but now I get killed quite a bit. I must have been such a nerd…
I also installed Painkiller again. I forgot how good it was to just kill endless monsters and never seem to run out of ammo. It’s basically just the same as Serious Sam but less serious. Nothing is seriouser than Sam, obviously.
I put my Xbox on because I felt like some nice offline Fable II, and the Xbox got confused because without any connection, the date just resets to 2005 – Three years before Fable II actually came out. It didn’t know what was happening. Oh, the pus! The pain! The Black Voodoo! The wet jigsaw puzzle! For days I was in a trance, but when I came to, there it was! A thumb! A thumb of gigantic proportions, like a fleshy maraca! I thought it might give me minus-rent money but it didn’t do anything. Strange business. I thought I could set the date on the Xbox to the year 2050 and then see how much money I would get then, but I didn’t because I couldn’t be bothered to navigate the dreadful menus and also I have so much money on Fable anyway it would kind of be pointless considering I’m never, ever going to run out.