Sunday, 7 February 2010

Day 6, Monday, 18th January (13 Days to Go)

A mysterious package got delivered today. Unfortunately, nobody was in the house to get it, so we got one of those little red cards through he door. Thos cards annoy me so much. Or rather, the Post Office’s rules do. The time on the back of the card was 2:14 this afternoon – The problem with that is that the post office closes at 12:30. How am I possibly supposed to collect what I missed if it was not delivered until the Post Office is closed? Stupid. And also I have to wait 24 hours to get it before I can pick it up. That’s another stupid rule. How can something potentially get from America to my house in a week take 24 house to go 10 miles to the Post Office?

This parcel was send by Royal Mail Recorded, so it is probably a router from TalkTalk, but the current options are as follows:

1. The TalkTalk Router that they forgot to order but then ordered when we were phoning them last week.

2. The BT Router that is supposed to come on the 1st of February. This is the most unlikely option.

3. My Theory of a Deadman Scars & Souvenirs CD. I ordered this last week but it is from America and is supposed to take 3-8 weeks. I paid $8 for that postage, and it still takes up to 8 weeks. I pay $6 from Travis and it takes 2 weeks at the most. I wouldn’t have bought that CD normally because it is seriously god-awful, but since it was $16 and I got a free signed artbook, I thought it was worth them shame of owning it. After all, the previous albums were really good… then they turned to post-Rockstar Nickelback/Busted Pop-Rock rubbish. I hate ‘Pop-anything’, especially awful pop-rock.

So that’s that parcel analysed. Next!

I have been giving Enter the Chicken a lot of ear-hole time lately. I have tried to enjoy Funbus, but it is seriously ridiculous. There is no way that that kind of music is supposed to be taken seriously. It sounds like a guy with a throat infection angrily whispering words. The worst part of it is that at 0:07 he literally just makes a ‘Naaaaaaa’ sound like he needed to fill a gap but ran out of words. Apart from Funbus, Enter the Chicken looks good to be one of the better Buckethead albums recently. Obviously it won’t match up to the classics like the Bucketheadland(s) and Giant Robot, but it’s good in comparison to his more recent adventures like Forensic Follies and Needle in a Slunk Stack. I’m not feeling the chop-up stuff.

Serj Tankian is a good guy. Everything he does is good (except Serart, but that was in that dark period just after System of a Down went on their permanent ‘hiatus’), and Elect the Dead is fantabulous. So much so that I bought it twice: Once was the regular version and the second was the special edition red version with the bonus booklet and disc. (It was £4.99. That is a dealio.) I can’t wait for the next album. Or a follow-up to Enter the Chicken.

Another thing that annoys me is the rumoured Slash and Friends album. Was this a rumour name or something done to annoy Buckethead people? If it was called Slash and Friends it would look like a childish attempt at him saying something like ‘I’m more Guns N Roses than you! I wasn’t blamed for bad album sales because I’m too weird!’

Surely he can think of something more original? Buckethead kind of suits it because he’s odd. Slash doesn’t usually go for the ‘oddball’ look. I doubt it will actually happen. It was probably started by the Buckethead-haters to annoy people like me. It worked.

This Internet business is starting to take its toll on me. Its sapping my strength and energy, and I can’t do anything. What did people do before the Internet and Xboxes and computers? Play board games? It sounds like a mess of society. That’s why things like teleportation never got done. All the brains of the world were so concentrated on inventing ‘something that is like a series of tubes carrying stuff to everyone’s TV…’ If they had invented the Internet instead of floating stuff up to the moon in 1969 we would have been teleporting all over the shop by now. I wouldn’t have to wait 3-8 weeks for a CD. It could just get it zipped to my house in 5 minutes, or I could zip myself down to the actual Studio and buy it from Travis personally and demand a signature from Buckethead. “I know he’s in there, Travis. He practically lives here.’’

You nerds are all working on the wrong things. Get my internet sorted, then teleportation, then you can float stuff up to Mars when you can ask yourself: ‘What else have we got?

While making silly noses on my new amp, I have snapped the small E String on my Telecaster, known as Klaus to his friends. I can’t even look for new strings online. Sucks.

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